Straight to My Mind-Hole

• I'm pretty sure this guy was an actual zombie, but he didn't eat my brain. What he did do was seek out a decent light source for me to take a picture of him with my shitbox cellphone camera. This zombie fellow was so nice that I now believe all zombie movies to be anti-zombie racist propaganda.

• I just got back from spending time in Asheville, North Carolina. In between fending off attacks from vicious pitbulls with heads as big as stop signs and being stranded on the outskirts of town with El Amar and an odd collection of moonshine-drinking locals, there were three concerts at the Orange Peel. Some notes on these shows follow.

• Spoon. The first night me and thee Famous Person got into town we saw Spoon. We showed up late, because we, together, are incapable of leaving town for a trip before four p.m. So we missed The Ponys, which sucked, because FP was really excited about seeing them. Spoon ruled, though. They played their melodic, piano-driven pop songs with a kind of funk-laden slow groove that built, occasionally, into incredible crescendo. There is something blue-collar about their consistency and their "no-frills" (by which I mean, of course, "no eyeliner") look. The bass player plays his instrument exactly like it should, in my opinion, be played. FP says that the lead singer sounds kind of like Billy Joel, which makes sense, since Billy Joel also totally rules in a blue-collar kind of a way.
Spoon used an effect to mimic, I guess, the sound that a ghost might make for "The Ghost of You Lingers." FP thought that they were tying to emulate the sound of the truly big-ass fan attached to the ceiling of the venue.
{Editorial Note: The hyperlink immediately above leads to the Big Ass Fan company, which makes, yes, big ass fans, including the one at the Orange Peel. But I wonder what the percentage is for visitors to their website who are fans of big asses. - R. Ronsonol}
Spoon closed the show with "The Way We Get By," which, despite its inclusion on the O.C. soundtrack, remains a perfect pop masterpiece. The crowd was pleased.

• They Might Be Giants. I didn't actually go to this show. I felt, at that point, that I needed some time away from thee Famous Person in order to preserve my own tenuous grasp on sanity. You know how it is with siblings, man. I will say this: the chicken parmesan sandwich I had while this concert was happening was delicious. That and I have seen TMBG a bunch of times, and they're always really good, and I suspect that they did not disappoint.

• The New Pornographers. I spent the whole time wondering what it must be like to be Carl Newman, who seems to be the de facto leader of The New Pornographers. Everyone, even die-hard fans of this band (among whom I am not), clearly seems to like Neko Case and Dan Bejar - both members of TNP - way more than him. And since both Case and Bejar have pretty successful solo careers, are they, like, doing the less-successful members of this band a favor by showing up at all? I mean. They are. But I wonder how aware everyone is of this.
For a band that I don't particularly like, The New Pornographers put on a pretty amazing, high-energy concert. Neko Case - yawning intermittently throughout the show - adds a nice little twang to the Mamas & Papas-style harmonies at play.
Bejar, by the way, was rarely on stage. He sauntered on to sing lead vocals on about every tenth song on a - roughly - thirty song set. I think he knows that he's the secret weapon of the band. Also: you can add him to the list of celebrities, along with Patterson Hood and Hyde from That 70's Show, who look kind of like Cruton.

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Dude With All the Dudes

• The lady Mz. Higginbotham has a new, completely pro-fee-essional gig these days, with an office, she says, that is big enough for a ping-pong table. I can't imagine when she'd find the time to actually play ping-pong (The Heroic Sport of Heroes), though. Maybe she could spend all day training with a robot. Then she might have a shot at one day beating me. (I wonder if the Robo Pong 2040 is in anyway related to R.O.B.)

• I am under the impression that Stephen Colbert is running for president entirely for the lulz, and entirely in character. Is there like a legitimate term for when the joke-thing begins to have an effect on the actual thing?

• Winsor McCay may well be the best that ever did it.



• The White Stripes Lomo joints are really, really awesome. (Though I can't decide whether the Jack or the Meg one is the most awesome.) But I can't imagine a set of circumstances under which I'd actually buy one.

• Bring it back already. Shit.

• What the hell is "Gocco printing?"

• I love it when the DJ you like so much remixes that band you like so much and it turns into a remix you like so much. Word to Discobelle.

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Pour The Coffee In My Eyes

• Hearing about my exile on Elba, S. Higginbotham came to visit this week. Ping-pong was played. Attendant injuries were suffered. Pork chop sandwiches were consumed, and attendant food comas were endured. It was like a morale-boosting care package that you'd get on a rainy day at summer camp except, like, in human form.

• "You's a seven-time felon. What you doin' with that?"

• I want someone that I know, likesay the aforementioned Higginblatt, to make their own font, and then to tell me how that went, so I can decide if I would like to do so as well.

• So what if I don't have a functioning automobile or any discernible source of income? Fuck it. I'm going to see Spoon. Because I can't think of a good reason as to why I wouldn't do that. I mean. It only costs money and is happening hundreds of miles away. (Happy birthday, FP.)

• I'm having one of those days where I'm not dying; I just can't think of anything good to do.

• From the "More Evidence That This Blog Has Become Less About the Strange Activities of One 'The Devil Himself' And His Far-Flung Associates and More About the Goings-On Within the World of Rap Music That Nobody Who Reads Said Blog Cares About Other Than Its Author, 'The Devil Himself'" file: Lil Wayne is going to be on the new Jay-Z record. We here at CFY,K consider this a win. (Also: Here's hoping that there's some little kid sitting in front of his computer with a notebook full of scribbled sixteens thinking, 'Oh. That's how you do that.')

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• The above artwork comes from a Love & Rockets collection by Jaime Hernandez called The Girl From H.O.P.P.E.R.S. I highly recommend it. (You should really probably buy it from Fantagraphics, just to keep it real, but I could only find a direct Amazon link.)

• So now that new Hova joint "Blue Magic" has its own video, in addition to the aforementioned trailer. Hype Williams directed the new one, and it looks gorgeous. (Hype Williams should offer to do his best work for Jay-Z for free, in an unceasing effort to make up for "Sunshine.") See also: "Roc Boys," which is also classic Jay. (I am getting my hopes up for American Gangster. I can't help it.)

• You know who I like? Graphic designer Charley Harper (RIP). I think old FP has a poster of his somewhere in her house. And Habitiat Skateboards pretty much unabashedly got their whole stee from him.

• If you were thinking of making the best music video of all time, you'd probably want to combine the following ingredients: a freestyle intro from Big Daddy Kane with human beatbox provided by Biz Markie, sing-along shots of authentic eighties-style hip street kids on a basketball court, where Spud Webb (!) is playing some ball. Then you'd think, "fuck it, go nuts" and throw in a John Madden cameo in there for giggles and grins. What if I told you that that video already exists, for Paul Simon's perfect pop song "Me and Julio Down By the Schoolyard." You'd have to like that, because you love that song, and it would save you a ton of impossible work.

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Corndog Victory in the Final Seconds

• What I think is funny is the idea that having a degree in English makes a person somehow less able to communicate with the people around them in the world. Like. I wrote this little thing for my friend the other day, just a little write-up to appear in a local publication, about 150 words, and I honestly had no idea how to do it. Perhaps I'm only capable of long-winded and convoluted academic critiques. And half-assed blog posts. (I mean. I did it, and did it happily, as my friend is the hardest-working person I have ever met in terms of charity. She really, actually, thinks globally and acts locally, which is a rare thing, despite the proliferation of bumper stickers intended to convey that same philosophical message. What I'm trying to say is that writing that 150-word thing was way more difficult than a longish paper, but it took a while for me to say that, because I have an English degree and therefore have a hard time saying anything.)

• So, um. Lil Wayne got arrested. But I guess it's cool now. Or something.

• Speaking of Lil Wayne, and other rap-related news, what the hell happened with Still Listen To Gangsta Music? That shit was my favorite. I'm beginning to think that whoever made that blog is secretly, actually Cam'ron, and has, as such, disappeared from the face of the earth. Luckily, my dude over at Jesus Piece still holds it down.

• Rave-on sends me links to good stuff like small-time producers send Kanye soul records to sample. This one's good, about an art collective that moved into the mall. Although I must say that living in the mall sounds like the place I would like to live least. But whatever. Art kids and their damn statements.

• I have not finished Marisha Pessl's book. Nor have I fully explored that book's website. But even a cursory perusal of these things suggests that Pessl is pretty, pretentious, and approximately half as talented as she thinks that she is. I think we ought to get married. (My book, for the record, seems to be selling for upwards of one hundred dollars. Take that, suckas!)

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The Kid With the Most Knowledge

• I think I have gotten more "post titles" from "Ghost Deini" than from any other source. HST had The Book of Revelations. I have Supreme Clientele. This is reflected in our respective prose, I think.

• So, yeah. I drew this picture of Buddha for some reason the other day. Figured I'd, you know, share it with you fine folks.

• I, also, would like to apologize to all the people whose phone calls I have only been sporadically answering as of late. It's like this, see: my car's broken down. In order to do anything, therefore, I have to get a ride, usually with Thee Famous Person, who has been graciously carting my stank ass around town every day. I have this thing, though, where I refuse to talk on the phone for any substantial amount of time when I am in the, like, physical company of people. Especially in the car. I can't stand it when the person you're in the car with is all on the phone for a long time. You can't talk to that person, listen to music, or have your own phone call. You can't do shit but listen to, like, half of a conversation you don't care about anyway. So I don't do it on principle.

• The other thing that's been suffering lately is this blog. Having a blog is something that you do when you have some time by yourself, which is rare these days as well, and for much the same reason. (It's also the same deal for, like, dicking around on the intrabutts finding out about stuff, which also makes the blog suffer. Like. When have I ever gone this long without a link to something?)

• Wait. You know what's awesome? Taking, like, dialog from Frank Miller's Batman and visually remixing it with Adam West-style Batman. It's the shit. (Via Drawn. (Are we still, like, crediting link-sources? I do it intermittently, 'cause fuck it.))

• More soon? Let's hope so.

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