Curtains For You, Kid

• I was sitting around the house the other day, you know - 'cause that's most of what I do - and Caddyshack came on. And you know. It had been a while since I heard that one dude on some "Ahoy, polloi," and somehow FP had never seen Caddyshack, which I thought was bizarre. Just because, like, so many old dudes are constantly quoting it. So I guess now she'll know what they're talking about.
I started thinking, though, what the hell happened to Lacey Underall, that singular paragon of 80's hotness? It turns out she's not up to much. But that's okay, because I can relate to that. This website retroCrush interviewed her. I need a job like that, where I get sent out and paid to holler at Mia Sara.

• I remember I put something up about this before, maybe years ago at this point. So I figured I'd follow up on it, even though I know that no one cares. That Ghostface doll is finally coming out. My thing, though, is like, the shit costs $500. How big a market can that possibly reach?

• Jush is gonna be rich.

• But the real story of the week in my own personal life is that the new Jay-Z record came out and that the shit is good. I suspect, however, that you guys aren't all that interested in where I think it rates among Jay's other albums, and how I feel about particular tracks. So I figured I'd just embed the Roc Boys video because it looks like the most awesome party ever that you would never, under any circumstances, be invited to.



• I have long maintained that Shannon Sharpe could only have ever played for the Denver Broncos - never mind that he played two seasons for the Ravens - because he is, in fact, a bronco. He looks more like a bronco than even John Elway, who is at least half bronco. But now there is a new contender for the title of Athlete Who Most Resembles His or Her Respective Team Name: Chris Bosh. If he ever gets traded, I hope it's to some future expansion team called like Les Pterodactyls de Montréal.

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