Bird Turds X 2

• This edition of Bird Turds is based on a youtube video of a turkey fight that S. Higginbotham told me about. And also it is based on the internet.

• Happy birthday to Happy Thawts, my erstwhile Canadian co-host. She just told me that she never had red velvet cake, which leads me to believe that they don't have red velvet cake in Canadia, which makes sense, since red velvet cake is totally awesome.

• From the "Millions of People in Addition to Me Care, But Still It Feels Like Nobody Cares But Me" file: I've been sort of mildly bummed out since Artie attacked his assistant and quit/was fired from the Howard Stern Show. I'm betting it's a hoax, though. So whatever. You guys don't care.









• So so far I've made ten Bird Turdses. (I have released nine of them, but I'm holding back on one. Because, I mean. What if I can't think of one for a while, you know? But if you ask me - and reading this at all constitutes an implicit asking-of-my-opinion on your part - today's two-fer makes up for my keeping one in the clip.)

Being at ten lends itself to all sorts of questions about which I've just begun to entertain the idea of thinking about answering, but that I won't get into here quite yet. Ten is a nice number, anyway, I think. It's nowhere near a number that would be at all comparable to the output of cartoonists both contemporary and throughout history, though.

What are there? Like a thousand Laugh-Out-Loud Cats strips? And then Los Bros have been telling stories about Palomar and Maggie and Hopey for something like twenty-five years now. And in terms of Charles Schulz, forget about it. So. What I'm saying is that I don't want anyone to fuck around and think that me making ten crude Bird Turds comics is even anything like what these dudes have done.

But I think that even having only done ten, even at the beginnings of things, you start to get an inkling as to the way things might end up going. It is already happening that I am beginning to shape the experiences that I'm having into panels and dialog in my mind while they're happening. I think that this is an encouraging phenomenon on two fronts. First, I think that it might be symptomatic of what might one day evolve into a technique of some kind. And secondly, it might be a common thing to have happen, and if it is, then it might be a difficult thing to just "turn off." And if, for the sake of argument, we assume that all that is true, then it gives rise to the notion that maybe there's a secret hidden cache of never-released Calvin and Hobbes comics somewhere in the world.

• Ok. So anyway. It had been a while since I checked out the Top 5's over at Crailtap but today I checked out Tim O'Connor's Top 5. The shit is hilarious. Especially when he gets to the part about that horrible garbage that precedes the best show ever.

Read More...

Summary only...

Sittin' In the County for Summers

• Yesterday, I should say, was a good day. If there is a better way to spend a Monday - food preparation (which, admittedly, resulted in a burnt thumb), a BCS championship (which, admittedly, is, from jump, total bullshit, but still), and a late-night bathtub telephone chat (the best part) - I'd like to hear about it.

• The other day, though, was one of the most unlikely on record. Me and the Rai Chile took a trip to Cumberland Island to, I don't know. Conduct some kind of bizarre research for this thing I may or may not be working on. And seriously. Can you honestly imagine either of us, like, walking on nature trails? (Rustle in the bushes? Flee!)

So we went to Dungeness, which was, really, the overarching point of the trip. Have you been there? No? It's like this old Carnegie mansion that has burned down, I think, twice. Now it's the ruins of a bygone era, with wild horses roaming around like it's Twelve Monkeys. There's these old cars that are just burnt rust. Everything about it is weird and lovely and tragic.

It's like the House of Usher, you know, after it fell. Which is why, when we arrived, the blackbird lighting on the long-unused fountain and unleashing a primal squawk was a little too Poe, and a little too perfect to describe anywhere except for, say, a blog.

• I wonder how Shamanzo is doing wherever he is at the moment.

• In other news, I found the Best Skate Video of All Time on YouTube. (The audio's a little effed, but what do you want?)



• I've been rereading this William Gibson book, Pattern Recognition, for the past couple days. Entertainment-wise, I think it's secretly kind of incredible. The main character has, like, an allergy to mass-marketed logos and branding. So. In that spirit, I wonder how long it takes Google to sue Alli weight loss pills for banking on a loose subliminal visual association with the Google logo.

Ahem.

Dear Google,

If you hadn't thought of suing Alli weight loss pills before I said anything about it, I will gladly accept some millions of dollars. Or, like, some cush position doing nothing but making pots of money for no reason. Because, you know,

I gotta take a shot,

TDH.

Read More...

Summary only...

You Can Learn a Lot From a Bot

• I am a fan of Garfield. Sort of. I mean. He certainly doesn't always knock it out the park, but he's usually good for one of those little, like, snuffling nose laughs if not a full-on lol. Sometimes he's capable of a brand of irreverence that's tough to find anywhere in the (un)funny papers anymore. But this has to be the laziest damn comic strip I have ever seen. Doesn't Jim Davis have a whole staff of dudes working around the clock on this shit? And the best they can do is that one picture twice, broken up by, like, a sound effect that doesn't look drawn by anybody's hand?

• I have decided that if / when I ever finish a novel, I want it to be published by Tank Books. 'Cause look.

• For the past couple of days, me and Happy - who is already hard at work on the next installment of "The Border Disaster," which I know you can't wait for - and Thee Famous Person - who also wrote about this on her emo-ass blog - and Skritch - who doesn't have a convenient link but who used to have a blog of his own - have been playing The Greatest Board Game of All Time in weird 1997-style java applet format while Skypin'. It has come to this. Just playing the game itself wasn't quite nerdy enough. I'm five and one.

• Crailtap did a Top 5's with Evan Hecox. It's always nice to see the art director get some love. Especially since Evan Hecox is probably the best thing about Chocolate since Mike York left.

Read More...

Summary only...

• How weird is it that both Fosto (premier soon!) and the Rai Chile (bring it back!) have the same birthday? It's today. I'm putting up the King of Eweep for his birthday, as he is turning at least 100 years old. I think Rainuts is just going to sit at his house and eat healthy foodstuffs.

• The above picture comes from a Hedi Slimane picture gallery that I found through this blog called Dirty Down. If you click the picture I put up here, good shit happens, I think, but before you back back through every other picture I've ever uploaded, this is the first one that does anything. So far.

• Steampunks are a weird-ass group of people. This much we know to be true. But it never let it be said that they're not industrious as all hell. (How long, do you think, before this guy inadvertently turns himself into C3PO?)

• I would like to call attention to the fact that I have invented a new word: "Embonered." (Embonered, adj. 1. To be stoked on, or to have a hard-on about someone or some thing. "The new Lil Wayne mixtape has me fully embonered, nullus." 2. Actually being in the state of having a boner. "You ready? I'm embonered.")

• Miraculously, The White Stripes have emerged victorious in the time-honored game of "Endure the Obnoxious Shithead Canadian."

• From the Finally File (Cross-referenced with the Nobody Cares Anymore But Me File): Jim Greco gets Epicly Later'd.

• Just Blaze has one long track with like four songs from Jay Electronica, who, despite having a wackass rap name, is actually dope as fuck.

Read More...

Summary only...

Back Up More Like Throw Up

• If you're me and you spend a ton of time doing stuff in front of your computer, but then part of your "process" involves long stretches of just kind of sitting there and thinking, you end up just kind of naturally coming across entertaining shit on teh intrabutts. (If you're me, you turn that experience into a blog.) And sometimes, if you're lucky, you get to witness \ participate in epic threads. (We tried to call in the Raichile for a one-time airstrike, but no dice.)

• The dudes from Baker make sunglasses now. Isn't it weird how you see Greco play guitar more than skate these days? The guitar is a cruel mistress, man.

• In other skate news, if you read that 16 things about the Gonz thing from last time, you maybe saw a little bit about Steve Rocco. Now there's a movie being made about him, and I, for one, can't wait to not see it in theaters and wait for the DVD to come out.

• Updated message to hard-core fans of the Gorillaz: There still won't be any more records, but you can either pay money for our signature sex toy, or you can pay money to watch us masturbate in a more figurative manner. Thank you, that is all.

• I'm not the biggest fan of the song in the following video. It's a little too "blog-rock" for me. But just on a basic level, you've gotta respect the level of nerd-work that went into this thing:



• CFY,K endorses: this bicycle.

Read More...

Summary only...